weeeeelll.. first day of "intensive" studying.. and i din really get much done!! lol. well, not much actual STUDYING anyway.. stoooopid p&l inquiry! grrrrr.. spent like 6 hours on it today... but at least i've finished it.. gotten it out of the way.. and i'll never look at it again for the rest of my life! hmmm.. but on second thought, actually doing it was quite interesting. i found out some interesting facts. i chose to do a rather controversial issue... same-sex marriages.. it's kinda gd tho. coz since it's an inquiry, you can give your own opinion on the issue.. and so i found it really gd to talk about stuff from my p.o.v. like how being raised in a multicultural, democratic and christian environment affects the morals and values that i have.. i dunno y, but i always enjoy just stating the obvious wen it comes to stuff like that.. i find it...... interesting.. lol. it'll be interesting to see wat my teach hasta say bout it. lol. =p last time i did something like this, the comment was.. "very intruiging, phoebe". lol...

annywayyyy... so the p&l assignment's done.. that's a relief.. but now i've got 6 exams to look to.. but u noe.. as worried as i am.. i just cannot be bothered with duin anything! i mean.. the only thing that's keeping me studying is my fear of failure.. as soon as i think of the feeling that i always get in exams - the 'oh-crap-i-dont-know-anything' feeling.. that's wen i start studying.. i gez i should just keep that thought coming then.. lol. at least i'll be prepared..? hmmm.. stress is catchin up with me tho ey. all those whites are coming back too! duyen picked like 2 on friday.. i bet by next week i'll have like.. 50! grrrr. sux tho.

nyeeehhh. so another interesting thing that i hafta decide on b4 monday is my subject choices.. i noe i've already submitted my list and gotten my gridlines back, but i'm still thinkin of changing.. jap's going better than i expected actually.. and it's making me think of changing to do it nxt year. but then the choice of which subject to drop comes in. coz i definately don't want to do 6 T.E.E again.. i don't think i could handle it.. lol. as bad as it sounds, i wanna feel free to bum.. not hafta face a full year of full-on stress.. coz yr 12 will be twice as demanding as this year was.. and i dun really have that much time once u take away all that time i spend in church and stuff.. most of all i dun wanna give up serving in church.. that's the only part of my life which i noe is dead set on the right track.. so my choice comes down to drop either history or human bio. odds are definately in favour of dropping human bio.. seeing that i din do it this year.. and i already have a crappy feeling abt it.. but then most ppl tell me that if i do it, coz i can easily memorize stuff, i'll find it easy. so then we look at history.. and i'm not doing too bad in it.. sure it's heaps tiring coz there's heaps of writing involved.. and lots of things to 'understand' and remember, i still kinda enjoy it. the problem is that if i drop human bio, then i'll only have discrete to go on. so.. it's really a toss up. wat happens if i totally bomb out on the exam coz of some 'unforseen' reason? it's really quite dodge. i dunno if its a wise choice to go with only 1 list 2.. coz they gotta count at least 1 subject from each list. hmmmmmmm. oh the stress of life. decisions decisions decisions.

ok. so it's getting late. and i actually feel like i can sleep now. i've been a complete insomniac for the past week.. really dumb move actually. so yeah. SLEEP! =D