[mood]: |angry|depressed|

so much has happened.

i dun think i've ever felt more stressed before. i just feel like i can't cope with everything. i'm way too over committed, but there's nothing that i can cut back on. wat i don't get is how ppl be in the same year as me, and yet can be so stress-free, still have time to vege out and relax as if they don't have anything to do, while i'm here working my ass off to meet deadlines and to do everything right for EVERYTHING?? it's just NOT FAIR.

after a completely stressful first week at skl, and an even more stressful weekend, which was basically staying at church till 4 (yes. in the morning) on friday recording and practice the stoopid ass quartet song, then not being able to wake up on time on sat to study (which pissed me off completely.. and got me off to a REALLY bad start), then choir in the arvo (which actually went alright this time round..), then lioney's b'day gathering (which i REALLY shouldn't have gone to.. coz i had WAY too much stuff to be doing..), then back to church again to record the ypg song.. until bout 12, then church again on sunday morning (not being able to wake up early to study again), then children's choir (where i competely lost it at them. i felt really guilty, but they were just being freeeeeakkiinnn-ly *#!@#$!^.) thenn church choir (being way too stressed to concentrate wen i played.. buggered it up..), then feeling really numb (bcoz of my hyper-stress-levels) wen i half led ypg choir... then finally wen i got home, i worked and worked and worked and worked. then finally got everything done.. realllllllyyyyyy.. it SUX being stressed. i turn into such a bitch ey. and i really feel bad for how i am to the ppl arnd me. my patience just turns to vapour. and i lose all form of self control. i hate that feeling. REALLY.

so after all that stress.. today still din go that well. woke up late. din go to skl for half the day. went for an appt, then went to skl for the last 3 periods. anyway. the day was going okay... up until lunch time. that's wen everything started going wrong. stoopid yr 11 guys fighting us for the crappy ass bench. had mr. francis AND ms. hedley come over trying to sort it out. mr. francis's solution was to share. and ms. hedley's was for us yr 12 gals to leave. stoopid ass. anyway. so after push here and push there. and after being provoked, jas bit one of the boys. to cut it all short, the boy dobbed. and so it turned into a 'skl-conflict', and thus it was dealt like one. jas got the worst of it tho. got the S for 3 days. it's way bad hey. it should never have happened. anyway. now it's all majorly depressing. my emotions are all numb now. n i dunno wat to do nemore.

everything is slowly spinning out of control.. one by one, i'm losing my grip on the things in life... all the things i was comfortable with... i find myself getting really easily agitated and annoyed.. at everyone. including my closest friends. i really could cry. just break down. things are just going from bad to worse. and there just really seems like there's nothing that i can do. slowly, it seems that i'm gonna be the only one left. and i'll still be crying.

gtg. bye.