bummed one second. happy the next. i can't take it. i need to do something to even myself out. ever since sunday and my minor "breakdown", i've had this feeling. it's a mixed feeling. i've been really bitchy lately tho. sorry! i dunno where it's come from. seems that i've been annoyed pretty easily too. grrr. how to get rid of this. it's probably a sleep thing. i think most ppl are suffering from a lack of sleep these days. bags under the eyes is the giveaway. altho, me ish lucky. don't get bags. but stillll. don't mean i'm not tired!!!
ooooh. got harry potter. muahaha. want to finish reading it soon. so i can get back to studying. u noe, there's this sense of urgency which i really should pick up on. but i just can't seem to. stupid sunday. normally i get over things really really easily. but this feeling just can't seem to be shrugged off. i kn still feel my anger.. and my hurt heart. i don't noe why. perhaps maybe bcoz it happened a number of times, and i've been shielding my heart from it for a long time. and maybe that shield just gave way. but i don't know. the only thing i do noe is that i feel angry. and i think that that anger is getting to everything else. i'm not really one to put on a fake persona or mask.. i can never succeed with doing that. can't make myself believe that i'm actually happy when i'm not. maybe sunday happened becoz of a few things which added together, was a lot. maybe i'm just not strong enough. maybe i should learn how to harden my heart to things which people say (in offense to me). or maybe i'm too sensitive. or maybe i was just emotionally volatile. who knows.
the only thing i know right now is that i've got to focus. but i just can't seem to do so. the things which keep me sane are the things which i told myself i need to control. but how stupid can i get? hrm. scary question.
finallllyy. before i go. i just want to shout out a word of thanx to the chubstaz. love u guys. =) thanx for being there.
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