you know, it sucks when you have a person who constantly ignores what you say. you want them to listen. most times, you want their opinion. but then, when you're standing in the kitchen, and you're both there, you start talking. mainly about your day and the things that you got up to or the interesting things which happened throughout the week, and the things which you're not quite sure what to do about. but then this person just looks at you and looks right through you. they know you're there, but they don't quite seem to notice. they focus on cutting the vegetables or washing the cups. or something weird like that.
but then, what happens when this keeps happening repeatedly? not just once or twice, but every day over a few years? what then? am i meant to be numb? am i meant to just not care? should i just write-off that emotion and just say to myself, "you know what? even if they don't care or respond, it really doesn't matter!" but then, that would be lying. because it DOES matter. what they think does matter. but when they stand there and all they can think about is themselves, then that's a bad thing right? is the onus on me to vocalize these feelings? do i need to say it to their face? or would a letter say it better? after all, that's written proof right?
how can i make it not hurt so much? i want them to be emotionally sensitive to what i'm going through. so no, maybe i'm not going through a crisis. but yes! i want to hear what they have to say about themselves, but i want them to care about me as well. i want them to be interested in how my day went, what happened at work or at uni. i want them to listen to me! not just hear me, but actually listen!
really, is that too much to ask?
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