* the real meaning *

just because i have a tendency to be dramatic, i googled 'stress' and came across an article from the victorian government's better health channel which says this:
"stress that is not managed or treated can lead to significant medical illnesses and anxiety disorders that can often result in depression."

i look at my timetable and plan for the next four months and the one thing i feel is stress.



the irony hits when i realize that for the longest time last year, this was exactly the feeling i missed and even longed for. i remember complaining about having way too much idle time, about not feeling or being productive, about not doing all that i could be doing with my time and energy.

thus it makes me wonder: why is balance such a hard thing to achieve? and why is the real meaning of my decision-making so hard to ascertain?

i think i'm known for being a stickler to extremes when it comes to work and uni, and sometimes even friends. to this extent, i wonder if i actually know where the line lives. you know, the line which tells a rational person that enough is enough, that 'no' is the right response, or even the line which points out the wise decision when it is just so crystal clear.

here's to praying that i'll be able to respect that line and that stress won't get the better of me this semester.